The task of educating is not easy. Each stage of the child has its difficulties, and as we go through, we think it is worse than the previous one. Many times it is considered that the first years is the easiest, although when we are in that period, in which we have altered sleep schedules, we do nothing more than change diapers or clean clothes, or chase them when they learn to walk, we do not think the same.
What is proven is that we are in the stage we are, we always question whether we are doing well or not. This is a clear sign that we are interested in the education of our children, and we worry about whether our teachings or ways of inculcating them are the most appropriate for them. Continue reading: 5 Tips for Choosing a Physical Therapy School.
Our way of teaching them depends on the educational style we adopt or have. Let’s see what it is and what types exist.
What is the educational style?
It can be defined as the parents’ regular way of acting before their children, of interacting with them, in everyday situations, in order to teach them and prepare them for the world in which we live.
The educational style depends to a great extent on the character of the father, but there are other factors that influence the same:
– How the adult interprets the behaviors of the children (it is not the same to consider a mischief as something habitual and tolerable than to consider it as a challenge to the authority of the parents).
– The way of conceiving the life and the world to which the children will be incorporated, by the parents.
– The different situations in which behaviors and parent-child interactions occur.
– The past of the parents and their relationship with their parents.
– Character, personality, temperament, disorders … that children have.
– Type of emotional contact that parents have with their children, etc.
What types of educational style are there?
Basically, 4 types of educational styles are distinguished, but what I want to make clear is that, the same father/mother, they do not necessarily have to belong to the same type, it can vary depending on the behavior of the child, the situation, of the emotional moment through which the parent passes and sometimes we are incongruous, and we use different styles for the same behavior and situation.
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The 4 types are the following:
- Authoritarian style:
– Rigid and abundant standards.
– Inflexible in the application of them.
– Little emotional contact with the children and lack of expressiveness of affection towards the children.
– There is no dialogue or negotiation, it is imposed.
– Little or no control of the impulses in the parents.
– Use mostly punishment and criticism.
– The interests and preferences of the child are not taken into account and it is too demanding for the level of maturity of the child.
- Permissive style:
– A lot of affection and emotional contact.
– Little control of the child’s behavior, lack of standards or are poorly defined.
– They are governed by the interests and preferences of the child.
– Undemanding, children learn things for themselves.
– They avoid conflicts, negotiation and allow the child to be made.
– Delegate to others (professionals: teacher, friends, pediatrician …) the education of the children.
- Indifferent or negligent style:
– They are involved very little in the education and upbringing of the children.
– They tend to be cold and distant with children.
– No sensitivity to the needs of children.
– The absence of norms, and sometimes they also subject the son to severe punishments.
– Little communication with the children.
- Democratic style:
– They are quite affectionate and show signs of affection with their children.
– High levels of communication with children.
– Rules and clear limits, well defined and justified or reasoned with their children, which sometimes also participate in the establishment of the same.
– They control the behavior of their children, use reinforcement in an appropriate way and punishment in the same way.
– They are educated in autonomy and independence.
What consequences does each educational style have for the children?
A priori, from what we see in the lists above, it seems that the democratic educational style is the most appropriate, both for the education of children and for the coexistence of parents and children. Let’s see now what consequences each of the styles in their own children report:
- Authoritarian style:
– They are obedient and submissive when there is external control, like that of the parents, but in the absence of control, they become fearful and irresponsible, since they are not taught self-control, which is very important.
– Children with low self-esteem, a tendency to depression and self-blame.
– They usually have little social skills to face the world.
– They may have an attitude of flight or deception in the face of conflicts.
- Permissive style:
– They have a strong insecurity in themselves.
– Low academic performance due to lack of effort.
– Low tolerance to frustration, are not used to being told no.
– Frequent changes of mood, poor regulation and emotional self-control and impulses.
– Immature for his age.
- Indifferent or negligent style:
– Low self-esteem.
– Do not abide by any rule or limit.
– They have little empathy, they are not sensitive to the emotions of others.
– They are very vulnerable to social and personal conflicts.
- Democratic style:
– Greater empathy and generosity with others.
– They are more satisfied with themselves.
– They have the good competence and social skills. Good self-esteem, independence, and autonomy, control of impulses and behaviors.
– They are persistent in the tasks and have good academic performance.
– Good moral development, sense of responsibility and learning to make decisions.
– Very good affection and relationship with parents.
What educational style do you have?
I have shown you the characteristics of each one and the consequences of these in children. Now it’s your turn to find out which one you belong to, and if you consider a change in the way you educate your children, it’s always good that you go to a psychologist, who will give you the appropriate guidelines and concrete examples for you to undertake the change.
Another last question that must be made clear. The educational style of the parents is NOT the only factor influencing the behavior of the children. The father/mother should not be stigmatized for it, but what is clear is that it is an important factor and that it is also a factor that we can control completely, so that, with the rest of the conditions, the benefits for the Children will be older with a democratic educational style.
It should also be taken into account, that for some occasions it may be convenient to use another educational style or at least that will be more effective. And that one parent can have a style and the other parent another different, so you have to have a certain “art” to combine them properly and take out what is most beneficial for the child.
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